The Lewd View #1

He's Lewd... He's Tattooed... He is Mr. Attitude! The newest member of the Southern Hemisphere Wrestling Alliance roster, Aston Crude brings to you his Lewd View!

Hello to all the loyal WPW monthly readers, my name is Karl River Infirri aka “Mr Attitude” Aston Crude, and I’ll now be contributing a monthly column to Westside Pro Wrestling. Thank you to Tez for allowing me this platform to continue a passion of mine, writing. I'm a new wrestler to hit the scene, and have been working for the Southern Hemisphere Wrestling Alliance since I debuted in November. I’m not writing only to promote myself, I’m not doing this column to cut unnecessary promo's for Aston Crude, I'm here to talk to you all; Shooting from the hip about my views on the crazy world of professional wrestling. If you want to see me cut promos, check out www.youtube.com/user/astoncrude for my monthly show “Total Attitude” - which to toot my own horn, is pretty good. The Lewd View will be my monthly commentary on whatever is on my mind as it pertains to pro wrestling, whether it is local, interstate or international. Or if I’m bored with wrestling, I’ll talk about bodacious hot chicks.

Today’s topic is about me. I figured I should introduce myself, right? I’m 24, have worked way too many odd jobs over the years, I’ve been a casual stand up comedian for the last 2 years, (you can see me perform sometimes in Perth at "The Brisbane" or "The Brass Monkey") and I have just started testing the waters as to if wrestling really is my dream that I want to come true. I have promised myself I’ll spend a year in this insane business, and then decide if I want to go all out with it. The way I see it is, your mid 20’s are the most important years as far as doing the things you’ve always wanted to do, whether it be travel, party hard and sleep with copious amounts of babes, save money and buy a house, have kids and become an adult a few years too soon, and so on. I’ve travelled to Europe and the U.S; I’ve partied hard and slept with copious amounts of babes, but the rest I haven’t really thought about - because of this one obsession that won’t leave my mind. That one obsession in which I’ve been swept up in since I was 12 years old, Professional wrestling.

Photo: Just Mike Designs/SHWA

You hear the warning signs. You’re told that this is an industry which is known for tearing families apart. You’re told this is an industry where only the best of the best can make it. You’re told this is an industry which is most likely going to leave you with some physical limitations as you get older. It’s pretty much guaranteed that at some point, you will get hurt. Yet the fire and passion burning through my heart for this crazy industry won’t let me turn away. I can’t get on with my life, because I feel as if I can’t do anything else. I could, but why do something that I don’t want to do? Wrestling has its risks, its warning signs, and its downfalls. Hearing the roar of that crowd is too addictive to walk away from. If you numbered the positives of being involved in pro wrestling, they would be less than the negatives, yet for most of us, it still outweighs the negatives tenfold. To hold the crowd in the palm of your hand at any moment, when you hit a crisp dropkick and hear the crowd ooh and ahh over the act of athleticism that’s on display, suspending disbelief, and defying implausibility for a split second, knowing that you had everyone looking at you and believing it’s real. That’s the pay off. To think people in this world actually get paid to do this sounds absolutely amazing. I want in, but I need to see if I can hack it first.

What I’ve seen so far, and what I have experienced so far has been eye opening. I find the whole process to be intriguing, and find this art form to be one of the most intricate and interesting concepts in the world. Some people look at wrestling and see it as a simple formula. It’s not. The mechanics of a whole match, a whole show and a whole company have all these laws and tricks that the average person can’t begin to comprehend. Some people get it, some people just don’t. Some people get it and excel tremendously. Some don’t get it, but they continue to evolve and learn till they get to a point where their hard work shows improvement in the understanding of wrestling. There are people who don’t get it at all, but still want to be a part of this craziness. There are some who don’t get it at all but think they do and act accordingly! Then, there are people that just don’t get it at all, like my Dad. He was always so against it, and I didn’t tell him I did it till about a week ago. After he saw pictures and saw it was the real deal, then he finally accepted it. He still doesn’t get it, though.

Photo: Just Mike Designs/SHWA

Me on the other hand, I’m seeing how this industry works step by step. I’ll make the decision on my future come December, SHWA has been fantastic to me and brought me self pride that I’ve never felt before, except for the time I slept with this chick from Australia’s Next Top Model. That story however isn’t for public consumption... and the memory is certainly for private use only, if you know what I mean. And if you don’t know what I mean, what I’m trying to say is I touch myself when I think about it you stupid moron.

I look forward to the year ahead, sharing my weird humour, thoughts and experiences with you all, whilst helping SHWA grow bigger and better. This will be a year of growth for me as a human being and I hope you enjoy reading about it.

K.R.I’s picks of the month:
DVD to watch: WWE: Bobby “The Brain” Heenan
Event to watch: ECW Wrestlepalooza 1997
Match to watch: WCW Nitro, April 26, 1999, World title - Diamond Dallas Page (c) vs. Sting
Favourite recent moment: Diesel returns at the rumble.
Most disliked recent moment: TNA’s booking.

Karl River Infirri - Aston Crude
karlriverinfirri@hotmail.co.uk
www.youtube.com/user/astoncrude